As Moms, we all want to believe that children are safe and loved, but the reality is that child abuse is a very real and devastating issue affecting our communities. Often, the signs are subtle, and hidden under a cloak of normalcy. When you suspect a child is being abused, the instinct to help can be overwhelming, but navigating this complex and highly sensitive situation requires careful consideration and a responsible approach. 

Child Protection Week is celebrated from 28 May to 4 June 2024 and aims to create awareness of children’s rights and to stop the cycle of neglect, abuse, violence and exploitation of children. Renee Pretorius, Social Services Manager at *Badisa, provides advice and guidance on how to respond effectively when you believe a child’s safety is at risk. 

Signs of Abuse

The Children’s Act (38/2005) describes child abuse as “any form of harm or ill-treatment deliberately inflicted on a child” and includes emotional, verbal, physical and sexual abuse. 

Renee explains that signs of emotional abuse in children can manifest in a variety of ways, and one of the most telling signs is a lack of confidence and self-esteem. She adds, “Children who are emotionally abused may constantly doubt themselves, struggle to believe in their own abilities, and feel unworthy of love and respect. Another indicator is difficulty controlling emotions. Emotionally abused children may struggle to regulate their emotions and display extreme emotional reactions, such as outbursts of anger, sadness, anxiety, or become withdrawn and emotionally numb.”

“Physical abuse may be hard to identify since everyday activities like playing can lead to injuries. Be on the lookout for unexplained injuries, such as burns, bruises, black eyes or broken bones. Children may also cover their injuries by wearing a jersey on a hot day, for example.”

“If a child seems afraid of their parent(s) or does not want to go home, it may be a warning sign pointing toward physical abuse. In this instance, carefully observe the parent or adult caregiver, to see whether they appear uncaring or insensitive to the child’s injury. It’s best to ask both the child and parent about the injury to check if their stories conflict.”

Renee offers warning signs to look out for when you suspect that a child is being sexually abused. “Parents should definitely be concerned if their child suddenly doesn’t want to participate in physical activities they usually enjoy. Furthermore, a child who has been sexually abused presents with acting out or withdrawn behaviour, substance abuse, causing harm to themselves or referring to sexual themes during playtime.”

If you suspect that a child is being abused, here is some helpful information to guide you through what to do.

What steps should I take if I suspect that a child is being abused?

A first step would be to find the relevant child protection organisation like Badisa, in the area where the child resides.  Contact them to find a designated social worker assigned with risk assessments who will provide guidance to report the matter in the best possible way. Also, it will be helpful to provide details such as dates and specific observations of incidents that you observed as the designated social worker may require you to submit a sworn affidavit.

Where do I report child abuse?

These helplines are available: 

• SAPS Emergency Services (10111)
• Domestic Violence Helpline (0800 150 150)
• Childline (116)

How do I approach the situation without causing harm or escalating tensions?

Approaching the situation without the proper skills and knowledge may cause further harm or cause the child to later recant any disclosures. Once you have reported the suspected abuse, leave the matter in the hands of the designated child protection organisation. Provide the child with emotional support and where possible, safety.

How can I support the child and the family during this time?

Bear in mind that the family is experiencing trauma, so providing a safe and accepting emotional space for them to talk about their feelings is one of the most valuable things you can do. 

Reporting Child Abuse – Do’s and Don’ts

Here is a quick reminder of some do’s and don’ts when you suspect a child is being abused or when reporting a case.

Do:

• Ensure the child’s safety (if at all possible) until the authorities speak to the child
• Get all the child’s identifying information such as name, surname, age, parents’ names, physical address, contact numbers, schools the child currently attends or the last school the child attended
• Be specific in what you observed i.e. physical and emotional signs
• Provide dates and incidents in as much detail as possible

Don’t:

• Question the child
• Confront the alleged perpetrator
• Remove the child from their parents care
• Offer advice to any of the parties during or after the matter was reported

*Badisa is a registered NPO which provides social services and residential care to the most vulnerable people in South Africa. Visit their website at www.badisa.org to find out more.